Bright Advice #30: Boost your popularity with just two words.

Thank you Violet for this post: 

-----

Please, take two minutes and think of all the communities you’ve been a part to: school, work, friends, or whatever else. Do they have something in common? They all had their popular one (or few) figures, that guy or that girl everybody seemed to like and follow. How were they different? What makes some of us popular, while others are never noticed?

Until you figure this out, you should know that you can easily earn some “bonus points” with only two words. You can make people see that you care. You can make them understand that you appreciate and respect them. You can make someone’s day.

Try to picture this: since childhood, you had tasks to do, and doing them at your best was the “normal”. You knew that, and you know it today, so you don’t expect any praise or rewards for all normal things you do at school, at home or at work. But there are times when you feel better. If I asked you, you couldn’t tell what triggers these feelings.

May it be because the sun is shinier some days? Maybe.

Or may it be that you have just achieved something you are proud of, and that changed your mood? Possibly.

Or maybe did you hear the two magic words that made your day?

The words I’m talking about are: THANK YOU!

Many times, you can motivate people to keep on doing things, with a simple thank you (although you know, and they know it too, that it was their job to do that).

Let’s imagine some situations when you could experience the magic power of thank you:

• You are a team leader, and your colleagues have just accomplished a difficult task. Acknowledge this by a thank you, whether or not can it be accompanied by a more substantial reward
• You are the proud mom of a child who has just put his room in order. Don’t say something like “you should have start doing this a long time ago”. Just smile and say “thank you for being such a help to me”
• You run a blog project where people send you articles. Send them a thank you note immediately after you receive the material. There’s no big effort in this; you can use an auto responder. And it makes a great difference to your readers.

Such situations are endless. If you don’t believe it, try it for yourself for 10 days. Notice the changes in people around you. Notice the increase in their motivation. Notice how they smile back to you. Does it feel better already? Then why not making it permanent? We can definitely live in a better world, but nobody’s going to make it better for us. Leaders are very few. Most people are followers. Lead those around you to respect and love and you’ll be rewarded with harmony. Lead them to wars and you’ll have hatred and selfishness all around you. Don’t do anything and somebody else will lead you to his/her picture of reality, which you may not always like. It is true that we create our reality. If we don’t enjoy it, we can create a change.

One more thing: don’t start tomorrow (as tomorrow never comes). Start now!

P.S.: Thank you for reading my article. It means a lot to me.

Bright Advice #29: Just do you.

So I saw this video online and I thought it was pretty inspirational.

Keenan Cahill, 16, is not your average teen. He has a passion for singing and acting, and despite his differences it sure does not slow him down one bit. I saw this kid when he first started making his videos and you wouldn't believe how many people tried to degrade him. He continued doing what he loves and has become quite the YouTube star and has met celebrities like 50 cent and the SF Giants.

Do what you enjoy and don't give up, even when hardships do occur. When you do get to where you want to be, you can look back and realize not much can stop your driving will.

It's been a while..

It's been some time since I've updated this. However, during this time, not only did I try my best to remember my own advice, others too sought for more tips. It makes me more than happy to see that people find use in what I post.

People have asked me why do I even do this and why I've stopped . I started this because I wanted change.  I've grown up with great role models who have tried countless times to pummel in certain characteristics and reminders to help shape me to whom I am today. But just like everybody else, we have times where we forget and lose focus. There is so much to learn everyday and it can be hard to remember them all. The things I post are lessons I believe to be either influential and hopefully even inspirational.  This site originally was suppose to be shown to only a few, but I'm glad to see even the most random acquaintances showing appreciation.

I stopped because I was going through a rough time, had lots to study for and lots on my mind. At one point I even questioned why am I doing this. I "know" what I need to do but I didn't remember, and the only way to achieve something is to be consistent and persistent. What exactly am I trying to achieve? Just to show myself and others that each person has a great life and show appreciation to what you do have, rather than what you don't. You can have a bad day, but that doesn't mean good things still couldn't have happened.

I found this article from using Stumbleupon.com and I'm sure it will make you appreciate even the very littlest things in your life. Have a great day!

The head of a company survived 9/11 because

His son started kindergarten.

Another fellow was alive because it was

His turn to bring donuts.

One woman was late because her

Alarm clock didn’t go off in time.

One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike

Because of an auto accident.

One of them

Missed his bus.

One spilled food on her clothes and had to take

Time to change.

One’s

Car wouldn’t start.

One couldn’t

Get a taxi.

The one that struck me was the man

Who put on a new pair of shoes that morning,

Took the various means to get to work but before.

He got there, he developed a blister on his foot.

He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid.

That is why he is alive today..

Now when I am

Stuck in traffic,

Miss an elevator,

Turn back to answer a ringing telephone…

All the little things that annoy me,

I think to myself,

This is exactly where

I’m meant to be

At this very moment

Bright Advice #27: Stay on track.

This past week has been rather eventful celebrating a birthday catered by delectable Filipino food and also moments where it was filled with just unnecessary nuisance. Despite all that goes on, I must continue and focus on what I got to do, right? Easier said than done especially when life has so many distractions. Everyone has their own schedule and situations to deal with, but it's how you deal with it that matters.

Don't get me wrong, I too get sidetracked with scrambling thoughts, but honestly, I always have time to ponder. What needs to be done is my priority and I should not let events cloud my thoughts. On top of that, doing other objectives keeps my mind out of the dumps if I do feel a little down. Learn to take care of yourself before you try to attack on other obstacles that come and go in your daily life.

Thank you.

Just hit 5000 views in less than two months :] Thank you to those who visit daily and those who have supported this site! Please continue to come back and please do subscribe!

Mr. Brightside

P.S. Would love to hear more feedback and stories from you!

We got it better than most.

We often do and use a lot of the same things everyday, but never take time to appreciate it. John Bang, a student of UPENN, currently is in Korea and wishes to share with us on how we shouldn't take regular commodities for granted. 


Thank you John for your post.
---

After spending more than a week abroad (if you really wanna know where, read on), I've come to a few conclusions as to what I've taken for granted in the good ol' U.S. of A.

One of the things I've taken for granted is my Audi A4. Auto commercials have always seem to equate cars with independence and freedom. Imagine having to drive without more than a foot's distance between your car and the others surrounding you on all four sides. You now have a picture of what it's like to drive in South Korea. If you're a claustrophobic, don't consider driving here.

Having experienced the mental strenuousness (albeit not firsthand) of driving in Korea, I'd say one of the things I'm looking forward to most is cruising along at 70 mph, if not faster, on California's freeways again.

Air pollution. You hear that word repeated again and again by environmental advocates these days. I want to tell people, relax! Live a little. Of course we shouldn't be dumping nuclear waste into the oceans or emitting gases that cause acid rain from our factories, but it's plain and simple: technology will be the answer to our problems. It always has been.

If you're still fixated on air pollution, go abroad to a developing country who doesn't have standards or laws regarding the burning of trash, such as Ghana. Go to China, where air pollution's unavoidable in cities
like Beijing and GuangZhou. These countries' industries need regulation, but also better technology, which is what the U.S. has always invested in.

It's not so bad in the States. Stop complaining. Now go out there and start finding solutions to these issues like global warming! Become a scientist or something. My advice to environmentalists? Instead of telling other people what to do, start with yourself.

Please subscribe and come back to visit!

Bright Advice #25: See the good in others.

Everyone you meet has a good side, whether or not it is evident on the first encounter. There will be times when you meet someone and already you get a negative vibe. You might feel that it is hard to start up conversations or things might become frustrating.  Learn to see the good in people, even if you may not want to.

If you surround yourself with negative people, the only thing they will do is put you in a negative mood. Try to see the good in people - everyone has a good side. When you learn to see the good in others, it will be less stressful when talking to them or being around them. Now, if you are somewhere where you have no choice but to be around negative people, learning to see the good in them will make things a little more tolerable for you.

Be positive with the people around you, and also with life in general. When you see the positive aspects of negative people, apply the same thinking process with life. The more positive you are, the more motivated and awake you will be.

Upon learning how to see the good in others, be sure to be able to differentiate between that and sucking up. Just because you might not be around people you like doesn't mean you have to be down and negative. Develop the skill to see life in a positive perspective. Pretend you're stuck in traffic for the next hour, but it's okay. You just downloaded some new music to jam to on the way home. There are always brighter alternatives, just learn to notice them.

It is about focusing on the little things and finding the positive in them. The more positive you find in people and the things around you the happier you will be. You will also be more motivated to make it through everyday and reach your goals.

Please subscribe and come back to visit!

Bright Advice #24: Mending broken relationships.

Happy Valentine's Day! Even on this day of love, it's not always how it is pictured. Sometimes relationships come to a deep hole, and if we learn to fix these broken relationships, it helps bring ease and peace to the body and soul. Here are some ways to help mend or create healthy relationships with friends, partners, and family members.

See both sides
When relationships start to fall apart it builds stress for both sides. Both might feel a sense of anger, sadness, disappointment, or even fear as a result of the situation. Although these feelings will be bottled up inside you, learn to be mindful of the other side's feelings too. Ask yourself 'How are they feeling right now?' and 'Will they be okay?'

As the relationship comes to any disputes, each side has their own perspective and expectations. These are a result of beliefs and past experiences. If you really know the other member, you can picture the conflict from their point of view. When you learn to see things from their perspective, it gives you a more clear understanding to how/why they are handling the situation thus far.

Take Responsibility for Your Part
If each person does not take responsibility of their part in the relationship, then things won't get better. Learn to not blame or criticize one another for all the wrongdoings, but rather focus and hone in on what caused this situation.

Even though the situation may be clear that one side had more fault  than the other, one can still step back and think what led up to this point? When you build a mentality of finding out WHAT was the cause of the issue, rather than WHO's fault it was, this will bring a sense of relief and aid you with fixing that broken relationship.

Make Amends Where Appropriate
Sometimes all it takes is to make amends. Try an apology or even a small gesture, done from the heart of course, can go a long way towards creating a healthy relationship.

Decide what needs to be done to reconcile the problem. What does the other person need? Would forgiveness, acceptance, or appreciation help? Use your intuition to determine what would help to create a healthy relationship.

Communicate Effectively
The last part to help improve a broken relationship is learning to communicate effectively. When both of you sit down and discuss how you feel with honesty and sincerity, the tensions lessens and you've begun to rebuild the relationship.

Notice how I said communicate effectively. This is not the time to continue blame or see who can make the other feel worse. Go into this conversation with an open-mind, with the thought of fixing the situation only in your mind. Relax and calm down. Then you are able to share how you truly feel and let the other person know the reasons for your actions.

And to those that are just perfectly happy with everything. Happy Valentine's Day once again.

Please subscribe and come back to visit!

Please.

Please subscribe and follow! Leave comments/questions you want answered or any advice for improvement. Anything you want more of? Let me know!

Subscribe to Mr. Brightside - Tips for Life by Email

Bright Advice #23: Good music, good time.

For many people, music is the quickest way to have fun while working. Cue your computer to play a string of upbeat and relaxing tunes during the appropriate times. Notice that your stress levels don’t rise easily, as you have a continuous stream of energy to hurdle each task. When you’re starting to tire out, sing along to your favorite tunes, especially during the chorus. You might be surprised with the amount of energy you’ll have right after.


www.lifehackery.com

Bright Advice #22: Be polite.

If you want people to like you and want to get to know you, politeness helps a lot. I'm not saying you should suck up to them, but treat them with respect. There's a trend for being rude these days that comes from the movies and TV. It's fun to watch, but that's not how the real world works. When Ashton Kutcher is rude and nasty, it's fascinating - when you're rude or nasty, you're just someone who's not worth having anything to do with. Everyone knows what you're supposed to do to be polite - put it into practice and you'll go far with making new friends.

Save money, eat more?

Everyone loves saving money. With Valentine's coming up, check out www.Groupon.com. Now you can get a bouquet of roses, originally for $40, half off! This is only one of the great offers Groupon.com has. Each day, Groupon features an unbeatable deal on the best stuff to do, see, eat, and buy in your city. By promising businesses a minimum number of customers, you get discounts you won't find anywhere else. No membership fee is needed, and it's fast and easy to sign up. Don't miss out on some of the great deals that could help save you money!

Decide and Move On.

Our brains have way of creating a synthesized happiness when we don't get what we want - it's often difficult for us to make a "wrong" choice. Thus, it's just better to decide on something and move on. 

A scientist stated that our brains can not tell the difference between synthesized and actual euphoria. Even when we make the "wrong" choice, our minds find a way to make us feel as if that choice was ultimately in our best interest; to the brain, this feeling created shows no difference than actual happiness. 

We often are horrible at predicting how we are going to feel later on, so when time is spent figuring out what to do over a simple matter, it is actually just wasted efforts. Even though waiting for the right opportune time to make a choice is important, when it comes down to small decisions in our daily lives, it is better for us to pick something and continue on. In the end, we're happy with either decisions so long that we don't have to waste any more time in our life pondering over petty things.

Bright Advice #19: Ways to stop procrastinating.

1. Make a list of everything you need to do
• As mentioned previously, obtaining an organizer is mighty handy to help you visualize the tasks needed to get done. With this, learn to create a self-monitoring system. 
2. Make note-taking a habit
3. Break a big job down into smaller parts
• Something may seem daunting because of how much needs to be done. However, if broken down into smaller sections, it is easier to attack this job. Focusing for just 10 minutes could possibly help you get started.
4. Put what needs to be done right in front of you
• When you lay something right in front of you, you have no other option but to look at it, well, eventually. Just focus your attention on what needs to get done, even if it's for a brief moment.
5. Keep reselling yourself on the benefits of doing what has to be done
• If you constantly remind yourself that you need to get your job done, it will keep that motivation pumping.

6. Figure out why you put things off
• Can't pay attention due to Facebook or Instant Messaging? If you know what causes your procrastination, then great. Avoid those situations/ or scenarios. 
7. Emphasize doing - not doing it perfectly, yet.
• This tip is to help you get started. As long as you get started on your task, it's progress towards the finish line. However, since you spend your time on it, you might as well make the most of it. But getting started is foremost.
8. Force yourself to get started
• Having trouble getting started? Start now. If you have something that needs to get done, why put it off? Finish and move on to other objectives.
9. Establish deadlines for yourself
• If you don't establish deadlines, you won't ever come across finishing them. Make deadlines, and meet your goals.
10. Learn to value your time
• Everyone only has 24 hours in a day. What you do in that time is all up to you. There's nothing wrong with enjoying yourself and putting aside some leisure time, but when you have things that need to get done, prioritize your time. Also, learn to use all the time you have. Those 10 minutes before work/ school can become rather useful.
11. Avoid the telephone/ computer traps
• Nowadays, with technology being a big part of our daily lives, we tend to spend a lot of time on it. If your someone, me included, that gets sidetracked with such things, learn to avoid them when it's time to work. Learn to discourage interruptions.
12. Anticipate your daily needs
• With all the things going on with our lives, it's hard to get some things done on time like we would like. However, if something is due, for the sake of discussion, next week, don't put it off till the night before. Get it done days before, allowing you to either review or edit. 

Bright Advice #18: Working on first impressions.

Practice a strong, firm handshake and the small talk that generally goes along with meeting someone for the first time. People won’t know what to think of you if you have nothing more to say past “Hi, I'm ____, nice to meet you.” Learning people's names is also an important attribute to take on. You never know, you might end up doing work with this person or, with a good first impression, could even potentially land you a date. Be sure and make an excellent one.

Don't burn bridges.

Even if you think you are never seeing the other person ever again, keep the friendship and tie. For instance, if you were about to quit your job, it’d be in your best interest to not let off steam on your boss. You never know when you might bump into him later on in life or need a reference, then wishing you did not burn that bridge. Life has a lot to do with building connections and reputations - at any time you might seek assistance from someone you knew before in the past. Given, there already is a lot of hate and violence that really is not needed in this world. So there is no need to show those sides to those around you.

Bright Advice #17: Take action today.

Ok, lets be honest here. Who procrastinates? I know I use to, but I've been learning to get things done on time. How? Simple. First, know what you want to do, then act on it. Now, that is easier said then done, especially with so many objectives to do each day.

As of late, I've acquired an item that I use on the regular that has helped me not only by accomplishing my tasks, but also keeping my life a little bit more organized. I strongly encourage, for those of you who do not have one, investing in an organizer. Having an organizer is one thing, but learning to use it at its fullest potential is something that could help turn your life around.

One of the most rewarding parts of my day, sadly enough, is highlighting tasks which I finished. It honestly feels up-lifting knowing that I'm able to stay on schedule with my to-do lists in an orderly fashion. Within your organizer, learn to jot down reminders, things to do, or even important up-coming dates. I tend to list the things needed to be done the night before, and as soon as the day starts, I'm on my way staying productive and keeping on track.

Purchase an organizer or calendar, something you are able to carry around, and get your life in check. You'll know what I mean about the self-euphoria you get when you begin crossing-off your checklist. Here's a start, learn to stay on top of things today.

Have a hard time getting tasks done, even with being organized? It might only take 10 minutes to get it done.

Bright Advice #16: Stay in touch.

We come across many people in our lives each day, whether its people we casually walk by or those we associate with. No matter the quantity of people you know, the value of friendship is what's more important. The friendships you choose to establish come with reason, and these reasons are why friendship exists in the first place.

Now, as life goes on, we are occupied with our own tasks and might have less time for leisure purposes. However, as you carry on with your life, remember the things that have helped brighten up your days - hobbies, family, and friends. Life is pretty fast paced, and things come and go, but don't forget the things that helped made life a little easier for you.

The beauty of true friendship is that no matter where you are, the ties you share won't fade. With that said, that is true as long as you don't allow it too. From a simple text saying 'Hello :]' to having a nice lunch to catch up, there are many ways to stay in touch.

Remember your memories and learn to make new ones with those you have done so with already.

Bright Advice #15: Appreciate the small things.

Today while walking around campus, I managed to trip over my own feet, and drop my books on the floor. However, while others chuckled, this random person stopped what they were doing and helped me gather my things together. Honestly, I did not need the assistance, yet this kind gesture turned my day around.

The gestures you pose to others, whether it be a big favor or something just taking up seconds of your day, can change someone's day. Stop to hold the door, flash a smile at another, or simply just saying 'please' and 'thank you' are small things you can do to help brighten people's days. Some might think this as doing too much or not necessary, but think about it. What I mentioned takes little to no effort, yet helps create a better atmosphere around you - making you more warming and welcoming. We live in a society where things can't be achieved on your own, so learn to be open to others.

Try it. Go out and make someone's day. You might be surprised at what you'll see.

Bright Advice #14: Look around you.

Many of us do the same routines daily. While we do build stress as we go along our days, learn to not overlook the positive aspects that you do have. When your feeling a little down, this is way to maybe just brighten up your day. Nothing wrong with keeping yourself up, right? Know that you are lucky to have specific components of your life to help shape who you are today, whether it be family, friends, or even your health. You should be grateful for the roof over your head and even the meals that you eat each day. We take a lot everyday, but never stop to be thankful for things we do have. A lot of people could only dream of what we take for granted each day. To help yourself feel a little bit more optimistic, stop dwelling on the stressful events for a moment, and appreciate what you got around you. When you see life in a brighter way, it keeps you out of the dumps and your head a little higher, and know that you don't need to be worked up all the time.

Mrs. Brightside: Positive Self-talk.

"There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly."

Have you ever set a goal for yourself, but are plagued by nagging thoughts that poison your mind with thoughts about how you are not capable for the task and how you simply are not qualified to carry it through? If you have experienced either situations or more, I highly suggest you look into the way you respond to your inner dialogue. Instead of obeying your negative commands, you can use positive self talk to counter the negativity and overcome nearly all, if not most anxious thoughts. Not only are you able to overcome anxious thoughts, but it helps with reducing stress.

Elizabeth Scott wrote an article that provides tips on beginning to learn how to utilize positive self talk in our daily activities.

1.       Notice your patterns

-         Be more sensitive to the problem at hand. You probably do not realize how often you say negative things in your head, think negative thoughts, or how much it affects your experience. But being more aware of the problem and recognizing it is the first step.

2.       Journal Writing

-         Most self help sites recommend writing in a journal, but the point is, find what works best for you individually. The purpose of the journal, is to catch and to notify yourself saying something negative in your mind.

3.       Thought Stopping

-         You can stop your thought mid-stream by saying “stop” either out loud or internally. I had to find myself saying “stop thinking like that, stop doing this, stop, stop, stop.” At times, it would be almost audible for people around me to hear, however, saying it aloud is more powerful because you hear yourself. Having to say it verbally, will make you more aware of how many times you are stopping negative thoughts, and where.

4.       Rubber Band Snap

-         Have you heard of Ivan Pavlov? Another therapeutic trick is to walk around with a rubber band around your wrist, and as you notice negative self talk, snap the rubber-slightly. It will hurt or sting a little, and serve as a slightly negative consequence that will make you both aware of your thoughts and help stop them. In a way this is a form of classical conditioning.

5.       Replace negative statements

-         Instead of basking in a pool of negativity, counterbalance those thoughts with something you are proud of. For example, use “I” statements to reinforce yourself, to build up your damaged self esteem, or even for a source of inner motivation. “I am grateful for my boyfriend/girlfriend, I am beautiful.” Slowly, but surely, you will be able to notice some changes.  Here are some other steps to change your inner dialogue.

o   Milder wording

§  Have you ever been to a hospital and noticed how the nurses and doctors talk about “discomfort” instead of “pain”, “deceased, passed away” instead of “dead”? This is generally done, because “pain” is a much more powerful word and talking about the “pain” level can actually make your experience of it more intense that if you are discussing the “discomfort” level. You can give it a try in your life. In your self-talk, turning more powerful negative words to more neutral ones can actually help neutralize your experience. Instead of using words like “hate” and “angry”, try replacing them with “don’t like, and annoyed”

o   Change negative to neutral or positive

§  If you find yourself mentally complaining about something, rethink your assumptions. Are you assuming something is a negative event when it isn’t? For example, having your plans cancelled last minute can be frustrating and seen as negative, but what you do with your newly freed schedule can be what you make of it. My challenge for you is the next time you find yourself stressing about something or deciding you aren’t ready for the challenge. STOP. RETHINK. And come up with a neutral or positive replacement that boosts your confidence, and increases your level of inner motivation

Ultimately, creating your own kind and supportive thoughts is seen as positive self-talk and affirmation. Affirmations are positive self-talk statements which:

-          Start with “I”

-          Are clear and brief

-          Take place in the present

-          Become more effective with repetition

Take a minute or two from your day and either think or write down your own affirmations. Here are some examples, if you’re stuck:

-          I deserve to feel good

-          I am healthy and strong

-          I have unique abilities and talents

-          I take care of myself

-          I am a good person

-          When something goes wrong, I’ll handle it

My challenge for you is to start practicing positive self-talk. It’s okay to be down in the dumps at times, but try opening up your mind to a new perspective on the situation.

Bright Advice #13: Figure out what your goals and dreams are.

So many people wander aimlessly through life and simply go for whatever small thing they want moment by moment. Instead, decide what your perfect life consists of and begin to put the steps in motion to reach that place. One of the most satisfying things in the world is overcoming a challenge and reaching a goal. We are the happiest when we are growing and working towards something better. When you know what you want to do, it helps bring more meaning and purpose to your life.

Have you ever wondered how others see you?

Do you ever just wonder how others view you? What they think about you? If I were to ask one of your friends, family members, or even co-workers, what they honestly thought about you, how would they answer?

Often people are likely to portray themselves way differently then how others perceive them. However, we have a natural inclination to just assume that other people see things the exact same way as we do – but this is not the case.

At times it can widen one’s perspective when we try to evaluate ourselves from a “third person” point of view. There are 7 key aspects to everyone’s life that are worth viewing from a friend’s viewpoint.

1. Emotionally: The value of every single one of your relationships – whether friends, family, acquaintances – are all affected by the emotional interaction you make with them. Although you may see yourself as sweet and sincere, but do others really feel the same way that you do?

Ask yourself these 3 questions:
a. After being with others, are they emotionally empowered by me, or have I left them with a different feeling?
b. Do others enjoy spending time with me, or do they try to respectfully avoid it whenever possible?
c. Do I like surrounding myself with those that treat me the same way as I treat them?

Are you comfortable with your 3 answers? Now, find someone whom you are close to and listen to their replies. This is not something easy to do; however, the answers can be eye-opening.

2. Values: Does your behavior – actions, habits, language – portray the important values in your life? When others observe you, will they state that your values are clearly shown through your actions, and that you are a good role model to follow? The beliefs that we consider important should be evident in our life. Each person’s life is how he/ she back up their say of being an ethical person. Step back and compare what we claim to be and what we appear to be. This process can be enlightening and self-effacing.

3. Physically: Ok, everybody knows that staying fit is a challenging task, regardless to say, when we get older, it’s only going to get more difficult. With that in mind, ask yourself: “Given my current physical stature, what kind of image do I send to others about the value I place in my own physical conditions?” Note that I did not mention anything about a few extra pounds, or any other particulars you may have. What’s being asked is regarding the respect you have for your own image. Is your image something others can follow as well?

4. Materially: How would others answer about your outlook on money and materialistic things? Where do your views and priorities stand? Are the people in your life more or less important than money? How much money is enough money? This has nothing to do with your financial plans in the future, but rather what impressions you give others via your attitude towards money/ materialistic things.

5. Reasonableness: While engaging in discussions with others, how do you make them feel? Do they get a sense that you are a reasonable person? When things don’t go exactly your way, do you maintain composure? When others dispute your opinions, do they still acknowledge your reasoning being understanding and reasonable? By far, there are too many unreasonable people on this planet. Thus, we should all want to be revered as “The Voice of Reason.”

6. Intellectually: This is not about how smart you are or where you graduated, but the outlook you have on continued learning. Are you someone who appreciates learning new things and making personal improvements? Do others see you as someone who values knowledge from different fields? Learning is trait that provides help to others and also brings meaning to our lives. Learn to love knowledge.

7. Practicality: Do you see the practical value of the six points stated above? To succeed in this life we must learn to integrate all our talents, gifts, and resources. To be sensible and realistic are qualities that makes everything real. Being practical will be the foundation of your life through all the ups and downs that are to come. “Practical wisdom is real wisdom.”

Now seriously consider how others will see you for each section. If any reason you are not satisfied with your findings, then you know what you must improve on. Yea, you might feel a bit discouraged, but once you realize the things you need to work on, there will only be progress from here on out.

On second thought, why should you even care what others think about you? To be real, that’s not even what is important about this article. The main reason is to help you see yourself in a different light. If you care if others see you as nice, sociable, reputable, and other positive traits, then it sure does help to try and see ourselves from their perspective. But in the end, it’s not even for them, it’s for bettering yourself.

Bright Advice #12: Drink water.

Staying hydrated is very important to one's health. Drinking soda adds zero nutritional content; it's like drinking a bag of sugar and syrup in your cup. Rather, replace it with a glass of refreshing water. Although it may taste plain to all you pop lovers, but after a while you'll soon find yourself hooked to it. Also, water helps fill up space in your stomach, thus making you less hungry. Doctors say you should roughly consume about 8 glasses per day, are you getting your daily dose?

Bright Advice #11: Stick and stones.

Many people tend to get riled up when they are called negative names, however there is an easy way to overcome this. Now, if i approached you and called you a tree, would you get mad? If you don't have issues, most likely not. You are not a tree, you are you. Use the same concept here when others call you names. People can be ignorant, rude, and even foolish for making absurd claims towards you, so why get angry? If someone makes a remark where they are right, simply thank them for making it clear and begin working on making that change.

What makes a healthy relationship?

I'll be posting some previous articles just to have everything on the same page. Also, good reminders :]
-----

Dear Mr. Brightside,
I've been through a lot with my boyfriend of 7 months, but sometimes things don't go the way it should? I don't get the respect I think I deserve and I feel like I've become someone I'm not. Don't get me wrong, he has a good heart and I adore him a lot.. just some things I want to change?
-Anonymous

Thank you for the first question :] Hopefully, you and your significant other are treating each other well, but if you're really unsure, take a step back and think about whether your relationship are hitting these key points:

·         Mutual respect. Does he or she know exactly how cool you are and why? Now, watch out if the answer to the first part is yes but only because you might be acting like someone you’re not. What’s important is that your BF or GF is interested in who you are — for your sense of humor, your interests, etc. When you say you’re not comfortable doing something, does your partner listen and respectfully back off? Respect in a relationship means that each person values who the other is, and would never push the other’s limits.

·         Good communication. Many people say that men and women speak different languages. Even the phrase “no, nothing’s wrong” has many different meanings depending on who said it. Not understanding the meanings in between the lines can cause stir ups in relationships. What's important is to ask if you're not sure what he or she means, and speak honestly and openly so that the miscommunication is avoided in the first place. Never keep a feeling bottled up because you're afraid it's not what your BF or GF wants to hear or because you worry about sounding silly. And if you need some time to think something through before you're ready to talk about it, the right person will give you some space to do that if you ask for it.

·         Trust. You're talking with a guy from class and your boyfriend walks by. How does he react? Does he lose his composure or does he casually walk on by knowing he has no worries? Jealousy is a natural emotion, thus it is okay to get a little jealous at times. But how a person reacts when feeling jealous is what matters. There's no way you can have a healthy relationship if you don't trust each other.

·         Honesty. This one goes hand-in-hand with trust because it's tough to trust someone when one of you isn't being honest. Have you ever caught your girlfriend in a major lie? Like she told you that she had to work on Friday night but it turned out she was at the movies with her friends? The next time she says she has to work, you'll have a lot more trouble believing her and the trust will be on shaky ground.

·         Support. It's not just in bad times that your partner should support you. Some people are great when your whole world is falling apart but can't take being there when things are going right (and vice versa). In a healthy relationship, your significant other is there with a shoulder to cry on when you find out your parents are getting divorced and to celebrate with you when you get a good mark in school.

·         Fairness/equality. You need to have give-and-take in your relationship, too. Do you take turns choosing which new movie to see? As a couple, do you hang out with your partner's friends as often as you hang out with yours? It's not like you have to keep a running count and make sure things are exactly even, of course. But you'll know if it isn't a pretty fair balance. Things get bad really fast when a relationship turns into a power struggle, with one person fighting to get his or her way all the time.

·         Separate identities. In a healthy relationship, everyone needs to make compromises. But that doesn't mean you should feel like you're losing out on being yourself. When you started going out, you both had your own lives (families, friends, interests, hobbies, etc.) and that shouldn't change. Neither of you should have to pretend to like something you don't, or give up seeing your friends, or drop out of activities you love. And you also should feel free to keep developing new talents or interests, making new friends, and moving forward.

Mrs. Brightside: First and foremost, know thyself.

A very close friend of mine who has always been a positive influence wishes to share some inspirational and self-esteem boosters. She won't be writing as often as I, but she too would love to answer any questions
------

What do you know when you know a person? There’s a field out there called personality psychology which entitles the scientific study of the whole person. The whole enchilada! We know that everyone is different, if one person was the same as me, that’d be creepy. But think about it, no one person in this world is the same as you. Yes! YOU! There is no one else like you. You are YOU! Out of the billions of people, you may share some sort of similarities, but not the same.

Imagine you are new to a school. You want to meet new people. Let’s say you like business and marketing. You venture to club meetings and meet a girl named Katie. As the conversation continues, you find out that Katie is working on a marketing advertisement for a new cosmetic product. She shares with you that her father owns a big sales company in the heart of New York City, and her mother a successful Realtor. She is the only child and she discloses that she feels an insurmountable load of pressure on her shoulders to be “just like her father and mother.” Towards the end of the half hour conversation, Katie invites you to a club gathering or celebration with food, dancing, singing, drinking, and laughing. Then, you start to notice a behavior or mood change in Katie. As the night progresses, Katie begins to grow distant—not as expressive, isolated and occupied in her own world, not as sociable. Her friends say that she gets moody and unpredictable, and not to worry about her. After spending a decent amount of time, Katie emerges from the club office and seems less tense. Later on in the night, she inquires about your past, your family, your background, your taste in music, classes you’re taking, whether or not you like your professors, if you like the campus, where you live—you know, the usual stuff people talk about when they’re just getting to know each other. In this period of time, you learn the following things about Katie:

1. She grew up in a comfortable environment. Her father and mother are both successful business people.
2. She strives for perfection
3. She is working on an advertisement project for a new cosmetic product.

How well do you know Katie? After spending an evening with Katie and the club members, you have begun to form some impressions about this young lady. How would you describe her? Well, first, you are sketching a portrait of her personality with the facts you know. Maybe, when you delve deeper, and read between the lines, you might ask, why does she strive for perfection? Is it because she views her parents as perfect role models? Does she feel the tugging need to prove that she can be perfect, like them?

The purpose in sharing a scenario like this, is that first impressions are not accurate impressions. You cannot make conclusions about a person based off first impressions and a short five minute chat. I am not saying to psychoanalyze strangers by talking to them. By all means, get to know people in your class, but for the right reasons. Getting to know someone, within itself, is a beautiful form of art. But above all else, know yourself.

Let’s switch this around, instead of getting to know someone. How well do you know yourself? Dig deeper. Deeper. Dig some more. What are some things you want to work on, need to work on, want to improve? What are your interests? Why do they interest you? Not only are you sketching a personality portrait of yourself, you’re also learning more about you, as a whole unit. Just how you cannot pick and choose which parts of yourself to dispose or to keep, you are you. You are an unique, wonderful creation. Individualistic and special. You have your own life story. In other words, your own life story is an internalized and evolving narrative of yourself that integrates the reconstructed past, perceived present and the anticipated future in order to provide a life with a sense of unity and a purpose. I would love and appreciate it if you would share some of your life stories. Remember, first and foremost, know thyself.

Bright Advice #10: Brighten those gloomy days.

Everyday we all have times where we either truly enjoy or just forget about unknowingly. However, if you make your moments in your day more memorable or have more value, you'll feel more sense of ease and accomplishment. Here are some ways to help you make most of each day.

1. Go for a walk: Spend some time everyday and just follow a path. This walk isn't about where you're going, but rather time to soak up the sun and calm the mind with your surroundings. Grab some fresh air while you take a stroll and just let your mind wander. You may walk the same roads on a regularly, but have you stopped to see whats around you? The things you see could not only brighten up your day, but maybe even inspire you.
2. Doing nice things for others: You encounter so many people everyday - those you associate with, or those you may have noticed, or even some you might never see ever again. Learn to brighten other people's days with something nice. Whether it's taking someone out to eat as a sign of appreciation,  helping someone carry something, or even a simple 'please' and 'thank you', a kind gesture can go a long way. Not only will others see you in a better light, but if you learn how to give when it's not required, it helps build character and self esteem.
3. 15 minutes: In a world of technology, this one might be hard to do. Turn off your phone (at least silence it), dim the room, close your eyes, and get lost in music. Everyone has their own flavor of jams, so choose something to your liking that helps you calm yourself. If you are not in the mood to lounge around, then find a productive hobby. Personally, nothing helps my mind rest more than shooting some ball. The point being, spend those 15 minutes so you feel refreshed, so that when you're done, you're ready to take on anything.
4. Eat something new: Many people eat a small variety of food on the regular basis. Find something that you haven't had in a while or even something new. When trying something out of the ordinary, it not only expands your taste buds, but also keeps you adventurous and spontaneous.
5. Surround yourself with good company: When you are around those you feel most like yourself, you can feel a sense of care-freeness. Live for the moments where you laugh from your stomach. The kind of laugh where it begins to hurt. Spending time laughing and enjoying humor is one of the top ways to relieve that stress and help up your day.