"Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood."
Ralph Waldo Emerson


Monday, January 24, 2011

Have you ever wondered how others see you?

Do you ever just wonder how others view you? What they think about you? If I were to ask one of your friends, family members, or even co-workers, what they honestly thought about you, how would they answer?

Often people are likely to portray themselves way differently then how others perceive them. However, we have a natural inclination to just assume that other people see things the exact same way as we do – but this is not the case.

At times it can widen one’s perspective when we try to evaluate ourselves from a “third person” point of view. There are 7 key aspects to everyone’s life that are worth viewing from a friend’s viewpoint.

1. Emotionally: The value of every single one of your relationships – whether friends, family, acquaintances – are all affected by the emotional interaction you make with them. Although you may see yourself as sweet and sincere, but do others really feel the same way that you do?

Ask yourself these 3 questions:
a. After being with others, are they emotionally empowered by me, or have I left them with a different feeling?
b. Do others enjoy spending time with me, or do they try to respectfully avoid it whenever possible?
c. Do I like surrounding myself with those that treat me the same way as I treat them?

Are you comfortable with your 3 answers? Now, find someone whom you are close to and listen to their replies. This is not something easy to do; however, the answers can be eye-opening.

2. Values: Does your behavior – actions, habits, language – portray the important values in your life? When others observe you, will they state that your values are clearly shown through your actions, and that you are a good role model to follow? The beliefs that we consider important should be evident in our life. Each person’s life is how he/ she back up their say of being an ethical person. Step back and compare what we claim to be and what we appear to be. This process can be enlightening and self-effacing.


3. Physically: Ok, everybody knows that staying fit is a challenging task, regardless to say, when we get older, it’s only going to get more difficult. With that in mind, ask yourself: “Given my current physical stature, what kind of image do I send to others about the value I place in my own physical conditions?” Note that I did not mention anything about a few extra pounds, or any other particulars you may have. What’s being asked is regarding the respect you have for your own image. Is your image something others can follow as well?

4. Materially: How would others answer about your outlook on money and materialistic things? Where do your views and priorities stand? Are the people in your life more or less important than money? How much money is enough money? This has nothing to do with your financial plans in the future, but rather what impressions you give others via your attitude towards money/ materialistic things.

5. Reasonableness: While engaging in discussions with others, how do you make them feel? Do they get a sense that you are a reasonable person? When things don’t go exactly your way, do you maintain composure? When others dispute your opinions, do they still acknowledge your reasoning being understanding and reasonable? By far, there are too many unreasonable people on this planet. Thus, we should all want to be revered as “The Voice of Reason.”

6. Intellectually: This is not about how smart you are or where you graduated, but the outlook you have on continued learning. Are you someone who appreciates learning new things and making personal improvements? Do others see you as someone who values knowledge from different fields? Learning is trait that provides help to others and also brings meaning to our lives. Learn to love knowledge.

7. Practicality: Do you see the practical value of the six points stated above? To succeed in this life we must learn to integrate all our talents, gifts, and resources. To be sensible and realistic are qualities that makes everything real. Being practical will be the foundation of your life through all the ups and downs that are to come. “Practical wisdom is real wisdom.”

Now seriously consider how others will see you for each section. If any reason you are not satisfied with your findings, then you know what you must improve on. Yea, you might feel a bit discouraged, but once you realize the things you need to work on, there will only be progress from here on out.

On second thought, why should you even care what others think about you? To be real, that’s not even what is important about this article. The main reason is to help you see yourself in a different light. If you care if others see you as nice, sociable, reputable, and other positive traits, then it sure does help to try and see ourselves from their perspective. But in the end, it’s not even for them, it’s for bettering yourself.

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