Mrs. Brightside: First and foremost, know thyself.

A very close friend of mine who has always been a positive influence wishes to share some inspirational and self-esteem boosters. She won't be writing as often as I, but she too would love to answer any questions
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What do you know when you know a person? There’s a field out there called personality psychology which entitles the scientific study of the whole person. The whole enchilada! We know that everyone is different, if one person was the same as me, that’d be creepy. But think about it, no one person in this world is the same as you. Yes! YOU! There is no one else like you. You are YOU! Out of the billions of people, you may share some sort of similarities, but not the same.

Imagine you are new to a school. You want to meet new people. Let’s say you like business and marketing. You venture to club meetings and meet a girl named Katie. As the conversation continues, you find out that Katie is working on a marketing advertisement for a new cosmetic product. She shares with you that her father owns a big sales company in the heart of New York City, and her mother a successful Realtor. She is the only child and she discloses that she feels an insurmountable load of pressure on her shoulders to be “just like her father and mother.” Towards the end of the half hour conversation, Katie invites you to a club gathering or celebration with food, dancing, singing, drinking, and laughing. Then, you start to notice a behavior or mood change in Katie. As the night progresses, Katie begins to grow distant—not as expressive, isolated and occupied in her own world, not as sociable. Her friends say that she gets moody and unpredictable, and not to worry about her. After spending a decent amount of time, Katie emerges from the club office and seems less tense. Later on in the night, she inquires about your past, your family, your background, your taste in music, classes you’re taking, whether or not you like your professors, if you like the campus, where you live—you know, the usual stuff people talk about when they’re just getting to know each other. In this period of time, you learn the following things about Katie:

1. She grew up in a comfortable environment. Her father and mother are both successful business people.
2. She strives for perfection
3. She is working on an advertisement project for a new cosmetic product.

How well do you know Katie? After spending an evening with Katie and the club members, you have begun to form some impressions about this young lady. How would you describe her? Well, first, you are sketching a portrait of her personality with the facts you know. Maybe, when you delve deeper, and read between the lines, you might ask, why does she strive for perfection? Is it because she views her parents as perfect role models? Does she feel the tugging need to prove that she can be perfect, like them?

The purpose in sharing a scenario like this, is that first impressions are not accurate impressions. You cannot make conclusions about a person based off first impressions and a short five minute chat. I am not saying to psychoanalyze strangers by talking to them. By all means, get to know people in your class, but for the right reasons. Getting to know someone, within itself, is a beautiful form of art. But above all else, know yourself.

Let’s switch this around, instead of getting to know someone. How well do you know yourself? Dig deeper. Deeper. Dig some more. What are some things you want to work on, need to work on, want to improve? What are your interests? Why do they interest you? Not only are you sketching a personality portrait of yourself, you’re also learning more about you, as a whole unit. Just how you cannot pick and choose which parts of yourself to dispose or to keep, you are you. You are an unique, wonderful creation. Individualistic and special. You have your own life story. In other words, your own life story is an internalized and evolving narrative of yourself that integrates the reconstructed past, perceived present and the anticipated future in order to provide a life with a sense of unity and a purpose. I would love and appreciate it if you would share some of your life stories. Remember, first and foremost, know thyself.