Have you ever set a goal for yourself, but are plagued by nagging thoughts that poison your mind with thoughts about how you are not capable for the task and how you simply are not qualified to carry it through? If you have experienced either situations or more, I highly suggest you look into the way you respond to your inner dialogue. Instead of obeying your negative commands, you can use positive self talk to counter the negativity and overcome nearly all, if not most anxious thoughts. Not only are you able to overcome anxious thoughts, but it helps with reducing stress.
Elizabeth Scott wrote an article that provides tips on beginning to learn how to utilize positive self talk in our daily activities.
1. Notice your patterns
- Be more sensitive to the problem at hand. You probably do not realize how often you say negative things in your head, think negative thoughts, or how much it affects your experience. But being more aware of the problem and recognizing it is the first step.
2. Journal Writing
- Most self help sites recommend writing in a journal, but the point is, find what works best for you individually. The purpose of the journal, is to catch and to notify yourself saying something negative in your mind.
3. Thought Stopping
- You can stop your thought mid-stream by saying “stop” either out loud or internally. I had to find myself saying “stop thinking like that, stop doing this, stop, stop, stop.” At times, it would be almost audible for people around me to hear, however, saying it aloud is more powerful because you hear yourself. Having to say it verbally, will make you more aware of how many times you are stopping negative thoughts, and where.
4. Rubber Band Snap
- Have you heard of Ivan Pavlov? Another therapeutic trick is to walk around with a rubber band around your wrist, and as you notice negative self talk, snap the rubber-slightly. It will hurt or sting a little, and serve as a slightly negative consequence that will make you both aware of your thoughts and help stop them. In a way this is a form of classical conditioning.
5. Replace negative statements
- Instead of basking in a pool of negativity, counterbalance those thoughts with something you are proud of. For example, use “I” statements to reinforce yourself, to build up your damaged self esteem, or even for a source of inner motivation. “I am grateful for my boyfriend/girlfriend, I am beautiful.” Slowly, but surely, you will be able to notice some changes. Here are some other steps to change your inner dialogue.
o Milder wording
§ Have you ever been to a hospital and noticed how the nurses and doctors talk about “discomfort” instead of “pain”, “deceased, passed away” instead of “dead”? This is generally done, because “pain” is a much more powerful word and talking about the “pain” level can actually make your experience of it more intense that if you are discussing the “discomfort” level. You can give it a try in your life. In your self-talk, turning more powerful negative words to more neutral ones can actually help neutralize your experience. Instead of using words like “hate” and “angry”, try replacing them with “don’t like, and annoyed”
o Change negative to neutral or positive
§ If you find yourself mentally complaining about something, rethink your assumptions. Are you assuming something is a negative event when it isn’t? For example, having your plans cancelled last minute can be frustrating and seen as negative, but what you do with your newly freed schedule can be what you make of it. My challenge for you is the next time you find yourself stressing about something or deciding you aren’t ready for the challenge. STOP. RETHINK. And come up with a neutral or positive replacement that boosts your confidence, and increases your level of inner motivation
Ultimately, creating your own kind and supportive thoughts is seen as positive self-talk and affirmation. Affirmations are positive self-talk statements which:
- Start with “I”
- Are clear and brief
- Take place in the present
- Become more effective with repetition
Take a minute or two from your day and either think or write down your own affirmations. Here are some examples, if you’re stuck:
- I deserve to feel good
- I am healthy and strong
- I have unique abilities and talents
- I take care of myself
- I am a good person
- When something goes wrong, I’ll handle it
My challenge for you is to start practicing positive self-talk. It’s okay to be down in the dumps at times, but try opening up your mind to a new perspective on the situation.
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